(Sequel) Mid Life Crisis – A Realization Part 2

Rohan has been living his life as he wanted, he crossed the hurdles, he jumped the ladder to success, he overcome the quarter life crisis, but there was something that he was unaware of. Something was waiting for him when he turned 40. He was at the peek of his career and was managing his work life balance quite well.

Everybody gathered around the table, where a cake specially ordered for Rohan’s birthday was placed at one end. 4 and 0 were written on the black forrest cake with 1 single small and thick candle placed at the center of the cake. Everybody was waiting for Rohan to come and cut his birthday cake, as today he was turning 40, an age where people say, “Now you can say about everything, Been there, Done that.” The maturity of a person reflects in his face, voice, words and habits. Rohan sitting on his desk, sent an email to his client, while his colleagues were shouting his name to come to the table and celebrate.

He put his specs on the desk, turn around the chair and went straight to the group, putting a smile on his face which has also matured over a period of time. People started singing the birthday songs and he cut the cake, looking at the number. He thought, ‘life has been a roller coaster so far, what was I doing for so many years. Have I done everything I wanted to do in my life, when most of my life has already passed.’

After distributing the cake among the group, he went straight to the parking lot of the office, which actually had a smoking zone. He opened the packet, and then again looked at the brand name of the cigarette, realizing that he has been smoking the same brand of cigarette for last 20 years. He lit one up, sat on the concrete bench placed on the side of the wall next to a silver metallic color Volkswagen polo. At the same time a bunch of young guys came to the same places laughing loud and chatting in a very frank way. He started noticing them, listening the small and light chit chat among them. This too made him nostalgic about his life, ‘Gone are the days’

Placing the laptop on the table in his study room, he called his wife’s name to send him a cup of coffee. After a long tired day of work, he used to sit in his study and read some literature for an hour or so everyday. Even he couldn’t remember, how long he has been pursuing this habit. Today while going through the bookshelves, he found an old book, which he couldn’t recall, when did he buy it. He guessed, ‘May be long time back’.

Mid Life Crisis - Just Another Realization

Mid Life Crisis - Just Another Realization

He looked at the cover of the book, showing a picture of men looking towards a big giant clock in front of him and each number on clock was showing the aging man’s face. Below was written the name of author – Roopak Nahor. He couldn’t recall the writer, as he has mostly bought books after doing a complete research around each and every book and author. ‘Never heard of him’. But the picture on the cover has made him curious to read the content, as there was no title on the book. ‘How will a person buy the book without a name?’

He turned the pages, and started his journey of another realization which he thought he wouldn’t need long time back …

The first page of the book showed a checklist and asked the readers to answer them correctly, what they feel about each question :

1. Do you feel that your life is a bore?
2. Do you think of having an affair now?
3. Are you making sudden decisions about everything or in your career?
4. Do you change your hair style or dressing style too often now a days?
5. Have you lost interest in love and sex with your wife or long time girlfriend?
6. Are you drinking too much these days?
7. Are you depressed?
8. Have you lost sleep and appetite?
9. Are you overly nostalgic these days?
10. Do you like to spend more time outside home rather than coming back to home after work?
11. Are you searching for an undefined goal or dream?
12. Do you get a deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished?
13. Do you get a fear of humiliation among more successful colleagues?
14. Do you get desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness?
15. Do you want to spend more time alone or with certain peers?
16. Are you entering relationships with younger people (either/or sexual or professional)?
17. Are you at the peak of career, wondering what next?
18. Are you tempted to have an extra-marital affair?
19. Do you feel discontent with life and/or the lifestyle that may have provided happiness for many years?
20. Are you Feeling adventurous and wanting to do something completely different?
21. Are you questioning the meaning of life, and the validity of decisions clearly and easily made years before?
22. Confusion about who you are, or where your life is going?
23. Do you doubt that you ever loved your spouse and resentment over the marriage?
24. Do you get angry at your spouse and blame for feeling tied down?
25. DO you sometimes get the feeling of committing suicide?

Then at the end of the page, ‘If you have answered 80-90% of the above questions in YES, then you certainly fall in the pit of Mid Life Crisis’ was written in bold letters. Rohan was shocked to read this sentence, as while reading the questionaire, he was answering them too, and unfortunately most of his answers were YES.

This made him more curious to dig deep into the book and find what is the solution to these problems. He turned pages one after another to know more about answers to these questions.

‘Page 23 : Mid Life Crisis – What is it?’

The page read, where he stop for a while to know more.

‘Midlife Crisis is a natural process (first identified by the psychologist Carl Jung) and it is a normal part of ‘maturing’. However, Midlife Crisis can sometimes feel very uncomfortable, and cause people to seek psychotherapy or counselling, or to make radical lifestyle changes that can be very damaging and are regretted later.’

Rohan wasn’t sure, how to react to this definition, as it says MLC happens with everyone of his age and part of maturing process, at the same, it makes a person regretful and uncomfortable.

He flipped the pages again, and reach a page titled ‘External Factors adding more to Mid Life Crisis’. He started reading the summary given in the page.

1. Debt : Finding yourself middle aged, in debt and facing retirement can add stress to an already stressful time in life.
2. Emotionally Underdeveloped : Being golden child of the family who is never reprimanded is never taught to share his feelings and have a poor emotional quotient.
3. High Pressure Job : With many careers on a fast track, individuals tend to “burn out” earlier these days and are suddenly faced with crises earlier in life.
4. Avoidant Personality : If a person has a tendency to avoid conflict in their personal relationships, suffers from feelings of inadequacy, are emotionally distant and has low self – esteem they will find midlife transition harder to navigate.
5. ‘It’s All too much’-like responsibilities : If a person feels sandwiched between the needs of caretaking of aging parents and problems of adult children
6. Envy : It’s not about how your life sucks; it’s about how everyone else’s life is so much better. It’s not about how you aren’t living the dream you fantasized about when you were young; it’s about how that joker from the back of the class seems to be living it on your behalf.And it’s usually brought on by a close examination of what your friends and colleagues have achieved – while you cower in the loser’s corner.
7. Significant loss : The death of a parent or family member can cause grief, which is difficult enough to come to terms with, without having to also cope with the feelings of a midlife transition.

‘Quite true!’ were the words that came out of his mouth as soon as he read these sentences. He thought, ‘This book is exactly telling me my story which I haven’t told anybody.’

He kept on turning pages, with each page, there was another layer of buried desires and stories untold. He continued reading or in one sense continued reading his own life at his age, hoping to get the solution to his problems.

And soon he reached the end of the book. ‘Chapter 40 : What are you looking for?’

His hopes of getting answers was dimishing with each page, but the last light of MAY BE was still on. He started reading …

‘A society which puts a particularly high value on youth, and sidelines older people, it’s difficult for many people to move smoothly into their middle years. Men reaching mid-life may feel a loss of masculinity and confusion about their future role. Divorce, insecurity at the business and the changing role of men add to the uncertainty many feel during this time of transition.’

‘Midlife is a time of achievement and satisfaction for many adults. Retirement is on the horizon and getting closer. The children are growing up, and some of the children may be parents themselves. But for some people, especially perhaps for idealists, this part of life’s journey can be a time of disillusionment, despair and depression.’

‘There are different things which a person can change in his life to make this transition smooth and resolve the Mid Life Crisis.’

This sentence brought a great deal of interest to Rohan, as he could see a solution coming next and this could change the way he is living his life.

1. Resolve Midlife Emotional Issues by controlling your anger on unrelated person. This means, done pour your frustration on a person who is not even the reason of that frustration. Try to be normal and nice with them.
2. Resolve Midlife Behavioral Issues by not allowing yourself to withdraw or isolate yourself; remain assertive but not perfectionist. Avoid hyperactivity and irritability. Avoid aggressive or self-harming behavior.
3. Resolve Midlife Cognitive Issues by seeking solutions or memory problems; difficulty concentrating; disorientation /or confusion; excessive fantasies or daydreaming; preoccupation or dissociation; chaotic or obsessive thoughts.
4. Resolve Midlife Environmental Issues by dealing with them and not running away from them. Take responsibilities but not as a load.
5. Take Mide Life as the experience which provides an opening to psychological and spiritual growth that allows and empowers a giving back to others and the community.

Rohan felt agreed to most of the solutions though he had known them in his heart for long, but the book has uncovered it from the deep buried layers of doubts. Rohan Closed the book with a satisfaction that even before he could face the fatal impacts of the regretable experience of Mid Life crisis, he has got the answers to make it a smoother transition than an uncomfortable one.

He looked through the glass of the window towards the road from his room holding the book, in which he could see his mid-aged transparent face along with the book in his hand. And what he saw was more shocking then the revealation in the book. He read the author of the book in the glass, which read, ‘Rohan Kapoor’. It was his name written on the book. Out of shock, he looked at the book now.

And then he stood up from his chair with a jolt.

Just then he found that he went to sleep while reading a book named ‘Mid-life Crisis in Indian Men and Women. Journal of Psychology – Dr. Karan Khanna’. And the topic also became part of his dream, in which he realised another crisis and got the solution for it.

Rohan thanked God for giving him hints about the problems which could have come and made him wise enough to think through to solve them .He felt very fortunate to have the power to realize.

*This story is my another attempt to write a fiction which is sequel to my previous story ‘Quarter life Crisis – A realization’ . The factual content of the story is written after doing research around the topic using wikipedia, google and other blogs. Please consider this as credit for the same.

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Quarter Life Crisis – A Realization

Thinking about the life so far, Rohan couldn’t resist but go insomniac about the things he has achieved and things he could have achieved. Rohan is a young, 25-something working professional who recently realized that how confused he has been during the last few years. Being young and restless is one of the attribute of this Gen-Y gang but it was something different in his case. Spending sleepless nights thinking about the current stage of his life, planning a lot and doing nothing about it, feeling uncomfortable about what could have been possible rather than being in this state of mind, fighting his own ever raising doubts about future, exploring hard about oneself and getting no answer and finding depression & disappointments in everything are few of the symptoms he is showing and is concerned about.

A realization

Quarter Life Crisis - A Realization

He wonder, what is missing and what went wrong but ain’t getting any answers. Many a times, he finds himself in deep thoughts figuring out the reasons for his unknown anxiety and sadness. He isn’t getting any satisfaction from his personal or professional life. A lot of changes are occurring on both the fronts but not as per his dreams. Is it the dreams not turning into reality or reality sucking more than expected?

He was going restless and thought if any of these are symptoms of any mental disorder or imbalance. But going to a psychiatrist will definitely prove him a mental patient, was the next thought he gets every time he thinks about such situation.

On one such dark discomforting night, he was lying on his bed in a room with nothing but walls and a 15 watt bulb not even glowing in full voltage. He lit up his cigarette and went into these thoughts, trying to view his life through the smoke moving up the ceiling in a ghostly way.

‘Why the things are going the way they are? Did I make any such decision which could have led me here? Why is this happening to me? Or does this happen to everything of my age? Why I don’t have a true friend? Why even after so many years, I am not into any relationship?’ questions flying from one direction to another in the smoke and fading out even before he could read their answers. He wished if there were someone who could solve his mystery.

‘He never knew who he was, even on the day he left the world’

He heard a whisper from the back of his ear. He sat back immediately and saw left and right to find who could be the one who said this. No one but the smoke of his cigarette was there to accompany him there. He went back to bed, after finishing the cigarette. In no time, after a long time, he slept so easily in minutes.

Ringing alarm was the next thing, he heard and the new day was there again. He finished all his daily morning jobs and was about to leave for office. Just then the annoying bell rang; he went to the door and found a girl standing at the doorsteps. Nothing so striking about the girl but a smile which was like a million dollar but not available object anyone could have wished for.

‘Good morning Sir, do you have anything you want to donate?’

‘Sorry, I am in hurry right now.’

‘No problem Sir, I can come any other time. We are working for the upliftment of the poor and old people. They will bless you if you will help them.’

‘Sure. Not this time. I have to leave right now for a meeting. Please visit some other time, may be on Saturday, evening 7PM?’

‘Sure Sir.’

As soon as he locked the door and came out of his building, it was dark. He got confused and shocked to see this, is it a thunderstorm or something? He looked at his watch and it was showing time 6:59 PM.

‘What just happened?’

He went back to his flat. Again the bell rang. The same girl was standing there, smiling.

‘Good evening Sir. You asked me to come on Saturday’

‘Yes. But I am not able to recall the whole week. It’s like, we just met minutes ago.’

‘Sometimes life drives like this.’

‘So what were you telling me about that day (I suppose, that day is not this day)’

‘Yes Sir, we are working professionals putting some of our time to volunteer and help poor and old people live a better life.’

‘That’s a great work. So how can I help in this regard?’

‘What we do is that we talk to young people and ask them if they want to join us in this mission or can help us by providing any sort of donation in cash or clothes. This will help move our mission in direction and give them the peace of mind and satisfaction.’

‘Frankly speaking, I don’t believe in donation and this NGO sort of things.’

‘I know Sir, we find a lot of people who believe so, but you can yourself work and see that your money or donation is being used in a proper way.’

‘No. No. You didn’t get me. I was saying, right now even I am not able to support my life, who am I and how could I help someone else? Leave this, BTW, what do you do?’

‘I am a psychiatrist doing my internship in Healthwise Hospital.’

‘Wow!’

Rohan somehow got the feeling, is it just a coincident or destiny that while he was thinking to visit a psychiatrist, one of them is sitting just in front of him.

‘I think, I may not be able to help you in this regard but you certainly can help me in my problem’

‘Sorry, I didn’t get you?’

Rohan went through a long description about his situation and explained the unsettled emotions and insecurities he is facing from last few years.

‘Rohan, I think, you understood your condition. Have you ever read anything about Quarter life Crisis?’

‘Quarter Life Crisis? What is that?’

‘The quarter life crisis is a term applied to the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the late teens to the early thirties. But mostly referred to the age between 25 to 35 and the state in which the person feels during this time’

‘So you are saying this Quarter life Crisis happens in everyone’s life?’

‘Not really but actually mostly. Let me explain this to you in details. Look there.’

He saw a smoke screen in front of him. He was a bit amazed and shocked but as he was more interested in knowing about this crisis, he ignored the special effects happening around him.

Sentences came from left and right explaining the characteristics of Quarter life crisis:

a.       Not feeling driven to achieve anything more.
b.      Not achieved that one has dreamt of.
c.       Thinking to change job or profession.
d.      Not interested in the hobbies one had earlier.
e.      Lost and confused every time.
f.        Realization that the quarter of one’s life hasn’t contributed much for his existence.
g.       How one is different from others.
h.      Struggling to find place in this world.
i.         Exhausting goals very early on. Want to move on the ladder faster.
j.        Nervous and insecure about the future.
k.       Not getting enough time to do something one always wanted to do.
l.         Self questioning.
m.    Over analyzing things.
n.      Missing something every time but don’t know what.
o.      What am I doing?
p.      Should I get married now?
q.      Young age passing by very fast.
r.        Not having trustworthy and true friends.
s.       Not being in a relationship.
t.        Struggling to cope with anxieties about jobs, unemployment and debts.
u.      Loneliness.
v.       Not earning enough to match own and others expectations.
w.     Feeling weak health wise and will power wise.
x.        Lack of excitement in life.
y.       Lack of motivation.
z.       Interesting in everything and committed/specialist in nothing.

‘Hey, This A-Z exactly explains my condition. But I feel some other things too. ’

1.       Insecurity concerning ability to love oneself or somebody else.
2.       Insecurity regarding present accomplishments.
3.       Re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships.
4.       Nostalgia about college, school, fun time.
5.       Boredom with social interactions.
6.       Desire to have children.
7.       A sense that others are doing better than oneself.
8.       Realization that the real world is tougher, more competitive and less forgiving than I imagined.
9.       Not able to support family in financial terms and emotional terms.
10.   Lack of maturity.

‘Does this mean I am a severe case of Quarter life crisis?’, tensed Rohan looked more puzzled.

‘Don’t panic Rohan. Quarter life crisis is not a disease or disorder. It is just a phase of life which about 1/3rd of 25-35 years old face.’

‘Phase of life? So, you are saying one has to go through such difficult phase normally.’

‘Let me put it this way. Till age 12, you are considered to be a kid, no tension, no problem. All play no work except the homework which is part of learning process. Then comes the teenage 13-19, where our body goes through a lot of changes and we wonder why all this is happening, we were better as kids. But then you love being teenager. In one sense, you find a better way out of your teenage problems. Then comes the age when we are the college going, dreaming big, and planning extra ordinary life people. Where everything is just so filmy and nice, we feel like life is wonderful and we will make something great and different out of it.’

‘Exactly. So you study these things in psychiatry?’

‘It is just a part of it.’

‘What comes next?’

‘Then comes the phase, where you are out of college, struggling to find yourself a job. Some find job, some create jobs. Experiment with different profession, till they find their way. But one is sort of happy during these days too. Because they feel they are doing something they have never tried. Work.’

‘Yes, during the initial days of my career, I felt the same. I had no anxiety of this sort but now all of sudden everything is flipping upside down. ’

‘You are talking about the next phase which is part of quarter life crisis. Let me explain you this phase in parts.’

Part 1:
Feeling “locked in” to a job or relationship, or both. It is an illusory sense of being trapped, in which you can easily come out but you can’t.

Part 2:
Then there is intensified sense that change is possible. This leads to mental and physical separation from the previous situation and emotional upheaval. Some may feel being caught in a loop, some may take it as the exploration of new possibilities.

Part 3:
Then decisions related to rebuilding of life should be taken.

Part 4:
Then cementing of fresh commitments that reflect new interests, aspirations and values should be done.

‘So you are saying that even this situation can be overcome and it includes a time which builds and redefines a new life, a better life.’

‘Definitely there is always some positive in every negative thinking.’

‘You’re kidding. Right?’

‘Not negative. I would say, you can find opportunity in every difficult situation, being a optimist.’

‘That sounds theoretical. ’

‘Actually, this sort of crisis happens when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn’t know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. When you look at your job, it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. Suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Earlier you were always looking for change in life, and suddenly change is the enemy. ‘

‘Wait, wait, wait … I guess you know a lot of this stuff. Do you really know so much about people and their behavior at every phase of life?’

‘People learn it the hard way going through the life journey. We on the other hand, learn it theoretically and experiment it on people, though we too have to pass through this journey. What people may not realize is that everyone goes through it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.’

‘That helped. So I am not the only one facing this.’

‘Happy to help. ’, she smiled and looked at the painting hanging behind Rohan, ‘So, you are also an art lover. This is from which painter’s collection?’

Rohan turned back to view the painting and said, ‘This is one of its kinds from the talented Kailash Manohar. ’ And looked back toward front. To his surprise, there was this wall in front of him from his bedroom and he found himself lying on his bed. He looked at the watch; it was 6:59 AM. He got up from his bed and realized that it was his dream. But somehow, he felt, he has got answers to his questions.

He went to redesign his life and lived a life which took him to another crisis, the ‘Mid Life Crisis’.

To be continued…

*This story is written after reading newspaper/blog articles on quarter life crisis. Along with some research done through google search around the term. Please consider this as credit to all of them.

Tagged ? :o ?

Just when I thought I had escaped this tag-the-blogger activity, I’ve been tagged. A few days back I was “tagged” through a SMS (thank you Savita). Then a series of warnings (read as threatening 😀 ) leading to this post.(again, thank you savita 😛 😀 )(just kidding).

Sorry guys I exceeded the deadline of 24hrs to write this ‘tagged’ post. 🙂

So following tag-the-blogger theme, here is my list of answers:

1. What is your passion?

Still searching. I hope, I will discover it someday during the voyage of life.

2. Cinema and Politics?

Cinema : Politics :: Art : Dirty

3. One good thing you want to happen in India, for people – Long term

Equality.

4. One good thing you want to happen for yourself – Long term

I know what i don’t want in life. But I hope, I will someday discover what I want in life.

5. One good thing you want to happen for yourself – Short term

Go Realistic.

6. One good thing you want to happen for this community of bloggers – Long term

People find Mota-blogs useful in all aspects. (emotional, professional, content, educational, inspiration, cause related, personal experience, news, entertainment etc…).

7. A frank thing you want to say about one of the bloggers here.

? 😀

8. Flirted?

Never.

9. Loved?

Whom? Everyone. 😀 😛

10. A country you want to visit?

All. I don’t want to limit this.

11. Belief in God?

100% .

12. One thing you would surely do to uplift this unfortunate country?

I don’t think we should tag our country as ‘unfortunate’ but still I would say, I will eventually become a teacher in some rural area(may be 15-20 years from now, when I will be in Vanaprastha stage of life), to do my bit.

13. One secret about you.

If i will tell you, then it won’t secret anymore. 😀 ok ok…. I’m INTP.

14. Adventure if any in life…

Many!! Feeling Nostalgic. As I usually say, I don’t have a narrating memory but a picture memory (I don’t know if these words exist in dictionary, or i just created them 😛 😀 )

I know you won’t find these answers interesting. So i have this for you 😀 lolz

I have given this comic strip title : “A Day Well Spent” 😀 (Sorry Savita ji, it’s just for humor :D. I hope you won’t mind)

Tag-the-blogger: Pankaj, now it’s your turn. You are Tagged!

Rajan! Rajan!

It all started with few lines, lines showing the deep pain with a hope of finding his own identity. He hasn’t written anything for a long time. All those fears and tears have sailed him to this place, where he always wanted to be. But the path is twisty and torn apart, as he describes it. Nothing comes served on plate, he knew. He fought his ground and reached the gate of his dreamland where dreams are unlimited and sky is the limit as everyone says. He has smiled after a long time.

Walking in the rain alone, as he always thought, would be a great feeling. But all those quotes which he read in novels were not looking real to him. He wasn’t feeling comfortable, only thing he was aware about, getting nostalgic, was his tears rolling down his cheeks. He stepped aside to give way to a merc, thinking, ‘one day!’. He lit up a cigarette and dragged a long puff.  Unknowingly wandering on those streets where no one knows him, smoke and rain were making a glass screen between him and the world around. He was thinking about this feeling which never came in those years. Why Now. And with the last drag, he found why, ‘It is close to achieving salvation by drenching in rain.’

2 months have passed since his arrival to this land of dreams. And he has learnt, not to return on old tracks and move ahead. But today, all those feeling have stuck around him. He is trying to come out of those lower bounds which will again dwell him back in those old fears of tears. Today this feeling has again given him new lesson of life. Guilt is not a choice, it just generates in social interactions where no one is ready to accept it. Human being is not born to feel and nurture the guilt. His duty is to think about it before committing any sin. To think and explore is the key to life. Past is like a shadow, it goes and comes depending upon the light of life. The more lively your life is, the less are those haunting shadows of past.

But today his fear has come back, he hasn’t ate anything, he is looking at the TV unaware about the channel and programme running, he is noticing the shades of his life running on screen, past fading and present is frozen. He is feeling like an outsider to his own past. The layer between past and present is now just a tv screen, which he can touch and feel, but can’t find his existence, ‘Am I in past or present?’

“Rajan! Rajan!”

He turns his head towards the direction of sound and finds his portrait looking into his eyes.

“Rajan! Rajan!”

Again the same voice, this time came from the ceiling. He don’t want to look towards the ceiling. Don’t know why, this fear of looking towards ceiling is making him go mad. He is sitting  on his knees and with closed eyes, his head is deep into the ground. But the pitch of the voice is breaking his ear drums.

“No! No! Go Away! I won’t.”

Unbearable noise in that voice drove him to look towards the ceiling.

“This can’t be me. This can’t be me.”

His body was hanging and rotating on the axis of rope and its eyes were directly looking towards him.

A cloud of white smoke came through the door, covering everything in the room. He is not able to see anything. He closed his eyes not to see any further.

“Help me! Help me!”

All of sudden, he could hear the regular chaos. He slowly opened his eyes. Shyam, Mohan and Shri are sharing their regular watercooler joke which they daily crack in snacks break.

“Hey! Rajan! wassup man? I was looking for you in your cubicle. I need Raj Acharya’s accounts file.” 

And Rajan finds himself, in front of watercooler, holding a glass of water.

‘What was all that? How I came to this place?’

“Rajan??” You alright??”

“Yes. Yes. lets go.”

Let me tell you their story…that no one else can hear…

Aall != Well, Part I

Disclaimer : Please be advised that nothing found on this post has necessarily been reviewed by professionals with the expertise. The information contained in this post is strictly for blogging random thoughts. Therefore, if you wish to apply ideas contained here, you are taking full responsibility for your actions. This post is not a regular review of any movie or doesn’t reflect any common views about the most discussed topic. Readers might find this post as offensive or out of sync with their views. I do not warrant that it is complete, comprehensive or accurate as per social norms. Writer has no intentions to spread negative vibes in Mota-Blogs 😉 😀 😛 . So enjoy reading, if you feel like headache or frustration after reading this, please post a comment to this blog post with all your anger. I know I am going to have lots and lots of Criticism after this. May be this will be added to my attribute list, and I would just say, it was flow of emotions, state of mind which I was sharing with you. Don’t judge me based on this. But please mujhe Jaaydaad se bedakhal mat karo …. Mujhe Mota-Blogs ke ghar se mat nikalo, dosto please vote for me, “Jo desh ka aadesh hoga, wo manjur hoga” 😀 (Please don’t throw me out of Mota-Blogs, Public, Please vote for me, If want to see me on Mota-Blogs, type a Comment and send it on this post. :D)

I don’t go for a movie based on reviews or starcast. I prefer going out for a movie only if my friends are planning to go, I just nod my head to support the cause of watching movie on weekends. To your surprise, I don’t remember the time when I watched any movie with my family. So, it is just about spending 3 hours and lots of money (if you are watching movie in Multiplexes of Bangalore), which I think is such a waste of both. But as I have already said, “It’s about time worth spent with friends”.
So came the reviews, from all over the world, it was like, dust particles in air are whispering, “Mamu, aall izz well”. (yea, I know, this analogy sucks !, but this is the first thing that came to my creative mind… :D) . People around me were literally blowing trumpet in front of my ear drums, “Go Go Go, watch it, how can you miss it”. This much of hype finally made me go for this movie. And then, hell lot of Negative Me’s (imagine me in negative of a photo) destructive thoughts started twittering around my head, as if I was hit with hammer on my head and swelled small destructive brain came out of it. Hey, but must say, I was lucky that I didn’t waste money because I watched it on my system. (Don’t tell anyone, that I support piracy, it was just open source sharing of resources. 😉 ).
Let me move forward with the main content of the sir-dukau (which cause headache) story. I could have also pointed the best part of 3 idiots but as most of you are already promoting the USP of this movie. I won’t take it forward. Let’s directly jump into criticism.
To start with, I would ask you all a very simple question, what was the reason, you liked the movie? Or in other words, why such kind of movies become your favourite and you recommend these to others too? (considering Munna Bhai MBBS, Lage Raho Munna Bhai, Baghban, Viruddh, Rang de Basanti, etc. in same genre). Please post in your answer in your comments.
As far as, I am concern, I think, it is “Emotions and the pain-points”. The rulers of the world know what sells in which geography and which community and which age group. They tap on that point and make profits. Yes, I know you will debate over the social message given in these movies and that we should adopt positives out of them and should learn from such movies, blah, blah, blah … (Trivia: I have been criticized for being rude to my readers …). In this case, my answer will be how often people follow those social messages. We watch movie, and are influenced by the performances and emotions of movie, talk about the movie, write reviews about them; and after an year or so, forget about it because Katrina’s new movie has just hit the multiplexes and the mindless comedy of Akshay kumar now looks refreshing than all that social message giving movies. We move away from reality, follow the ‘Virus side of things’ shown in movies like 3 idiots and still promote Shri Ram’s art of living.  Pseudo Life of a Middle Class is like a football, somebody kicks it towards one goalpost and other in opposite and it just move here and there with joy, thinking it is the hero of the match and without it, match will not finish, not knowing, there are hundreds of football are in reserve waiting for their chance, and even they don’t know where will they end up after match is over.
Once in 2004, Neha Dhupia said, Only Sex and Shahrukh sells in India. So to make profit, it needs to be either of them. I have appended one more thing in it, “Only Sex, Shahrukh and Emotions sell in India”. And when it is a combo pack, it just hit the roof. Do you need reasons for this statement?.  Apply the same Pseudo Theory in it. We know prostitution and unsafe sex exist all over our country.  [A big justification has been removed by the author]. But still we close our eyes and appreciate the views shown in movies and do a mouth publicity of that movie, so that the producer can make money and we feel, I have done my part of social reform.
Shahrukh is the King Khan of Bollywood. I don’t comment on a particular person, so I will leave this for your analysis.
Third is Emotions, and this is the hottest cake in Indian Bakery these days. Make a reality show, make audience part of it, or take some struggling models or actors in it, play with their life, treat them as the pawns who will dance on your music, just because you are giving them 15 mins of fame and a hope of making easy money. Nothing is left to be investigated in one’s life, everything is public, people on reality shows share their life in and out, from home to family, from dates to marriages, from girlfriend to wife, from this life to past life, from bedroom to bathroom, etc. What exactly is privacy now. They laugh when you say laugh, they cry when you say cry, they jump when you say jump, they are ready to kill when you say kill, they abuse when you say abuse, they are no longer human being, they are brainless-young-generation looking for easy money and fame with a statement on their lips, “I can do anything for this.”, they are slave to lifestyle now. But do you know who really the puppet player is, the one who is having the joystick in his hand, the maker of those shows and people responsible for making such reality shows hit by watching them. A dance reality show is no longer about dance, it is about the life struggle of the dancer, tears on stage, judges going mad over nothing, abusing contestants etc. Now most of us will say, we don’t watch reality shows, they make fool out of people,  etc etc…but still the TRP of these shows is much more than any other show. Why news channels are no longer News Channels, they are a complete entertainment channel. We laugh about KalTak, BharatTV and TaareNews (I know you are intelligent 😀 ), and say they are not news channel, but still when it comes to hindi news we switch to these channels only. And now you got the answer, why are they still existing when you don’t even like them. Because they know you need them, you want to watch them for entertainment only and thus they are making news in entertaining way. Switch to DD or ND TV, if you need news then. News Channels now no longer deliver news, they create and deliver sabse tez, and please don’t ask me what they create ( atleast it is not news). Thus we are applying Pseudo theory here also.
Ok OK OK, I know I took a diversion from the main topic, but these pieces are related in one or the other way. Coming back to the 3 idiots, these kind of films creates hope. Hope that someday everything will be ideal and that golden bird will sing, the era of golden times will come and we will breathe in fresh air. (Now again, I don’t want to say the same Shawshank Redemption dialogue of Andy here, because today I am in the role of critic). One of the critic said, “You will take a smile on your face to your home after watching this movie.” I carried tears and negative thoughts after watching it. I was thinking, how only a handful of people are running the world and are playing with the lives of others. They take decisions which are gonna influence hundreds of thousands of lives around the world, whom they don’t even know. They will make money out of the lives of them by just saying few good words, “Change, Hope, Life, Happiness, Food, Water, etc”. And it may sound odd but, educated people are most influenced by the glamor way of saying things. I know it was not easy for you all to digest. [explanation with scenarios has been removed by the author]
So 3 idiots was a fun movie to watch, but when all of us promote it as social message giving and a film which will bring change sort of thing, then my friends, I would say, “Hope is a good thing, may be the best thing, but the same best thing doesn’t fit in everyone’s life.”
“zindagi main har chahat poori nahin hoti,
jo mere liye jaroori hai wo uske liye jaruri nahin hoti,
Khuda bhi hasta hoga insaano ke kartab dekhkar,
Insaan ko Jeene ke liye insaaniyat jaruri nahin hoti”


We laugh but we never smile. We won’t change our attitude, but we still hope, one day everything will be fine. (We put our hand on heart and say Aall izz Well..).
And then they say, we are born actors …

[P.S. section has been removed by the author]

Update : A big portion of blog post has been edited (even though, I endorse unedited version of life blogging] after proof reading by some of my friends and their reviews after it was published.

Few of the comment from them are listed here, hope you will not copy from here and you will use your creativity to write something new in your comments :

– senseless crap

– disclaimer shows, you don’t have confidence in your writing.

– hindi words in between. Are you a serious blogger ???

– You can’t comment like this on sensitive topics like HIV in your senseless blog.

– is there really a word called “Goods” which can be used here in this sense.

– please don’t comment on spiritual gurus.

– Talking about sex is like a religious unsaid crime in our society. DISGUSTING. Don’t say this. Remove this line.

– kya likha hai yeh, ismein movie review kaha hai. (What have you written, where is the movie review?)

– meaningless sh**, Blogging hi karni hai to kuch meaningful likho. (write something meaningful, if you really want to blog)

– Pure frustration and unrelated to subject.

– Kitna lamba aur padhna padega.

– I thought, you blog. then you might have written something good, this is just disgusting.

– Embarrassing, remove this thing.

Next is yours, shoot….

Trojan, Rootkit, Worm, Virus & V

Don’t be scared of us just because I have written ‘V’ along with these morons of virus family taxonomy. 🙂

My colleague is struggling with multiple such trojans and is looking around for help. Anybody there !!

So, here is a story of Trojan War 2, where both of us fought and are still struggling not to give our system to those blood sucker trojans disguised as horses.

With multiple non-stop popups jumping from the taskbar, we got it, that we have been attacked by the unknown enemies. They were using guerilla war technique to take over our pride (pride of any developer: system). My friend first got scared and jumped out of his chair saying, “hey, I think I have been targeted. I am quite sure, these are the old trojan horses which weren’t able to win last time.”

I ignored the chaos. But these unexpected things fascinate me to try some luck with the old tricks. So, I being the neighbour of attacked province had to jump in to support the cause:”Trojan Horses, Quit System”. (angrejo bharat chodo!!)

So, you might ask, what was our strategy for the war. (As if we always make strategies, 😉 ).

Here is the list of things we did :

1. Opened task manager to find and kill the processes which were unfamiliar to our knowledge. After some time we won the round one. Finally those popups stopped, couldn’t remember now, which process was it because killed so many of them before it worked for us.

2. Ran a scan with AVG 9. Didn’t find anything. Lost round 2.

3. Went to Google God and asked his help, he said, “Boys, Chill. Download this magical software called Malwarebytes anti-malware and enjoy!!”

4. Did as suggest and did a scan using it. Found the culprit, there were 10-12 trojan infected files but were in cookies, so quarantine and delete worked for us. We won round 3.

5. Restarted the system. But what is this??? Again the same thing. 😦 oh no. We lost round 4.

6. We did some more minor attacks on them but in the end, lost hope, and decided to compromise. So currently my colleague is bearing with torjan and particularly rootkit. We have tried all sort of freewares for rootkit removing, trojan killers, 2-3 antiviruses.

But must say after all this exercise, found 2 magical softwares anti-malware software “Malwarebytes” and “Hijack-this”. 🙂