Abode of Love – Concluding Part!!!

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It’s an old habit of hers, she had let go of it and had even been successful in conquering it. But today she seemed to be not bothered about it. Her instinct was to hug him, but something came in between and she just could only held his hand in such tight grip that almost the blood flow in his veins seemed to seize and the hand going numb.

She held on to it till the lighting completed the cycle and it roared somewhere rear again and only the light could be seen.

In that stream of light the place looked heavenly and she looked heavenly and the closeness of her gave him a heady state of happiness that he wanted to delve and swallow the pleasures of the moment. He knew she would not be there tomorrow morning and there will no other chance like this and he was almost tempted to swallow her alive and be in that state of bliss.

But his ethics did not allow him to do anything beyond the numbness of the hand that was beginning to pain…slowly.

She seemed to relax a little and then lighten the grip…the blood flowed into the veins and the tickling sensation started to engulf the arm. He gave a mild sigh of relief and was trying to ease out the tickling sensation, when she heard his sigh and spurted a sorry to him.

She even rubbed her hand against his arm to ease the flow of blood and unknowing she was moving it up and down the whole length of the arm. The arm she could have held and had been more than safe in them. Alas, now it is not hers and there have been so many years that have passed and things have changed. She is no more the pleasing beauty of twenties or him the handsome guy.

Age has played its galore and the beauty that was once rendering is now reduced to some visible wrinkles and rather drying skin.

She playfully rests her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes and takes in a fresh breath of air from the cold and chilling wind.

He slowly puts an arm around her and tries to warm her up in his embrace…they slowly get up and walk into the house and he closes the door behind and they reach the room on the top floor.

The silence is too much to bear…the beating of the hearts that beat as one, the croaking noises of the frogs outdoor, the rain slashing against the windows, the swaying trees, the howling sound of the wind, the lashing water, the relentless night, the chillness, the warmth inside, the terrible smell of dampness, the shimmering fireplace, the dancing candles, the captured smiles, the absolute darkness, the racing mind and the desire of it being the single and long lasting night.

“I love you” he whispered in her ear and she melted in the thought, he turned around and kissed her on her lips…and the magic seemed to flow.

There is no stopping today, whatsoever…there is no one who can hold on to the pleasure of life…and there is no one to say if it was right or wrong.

There is no right and wrong action, till it is done even if it done, can it be proved from what point it was wrong or right.

What about the things that did not happen? Does it mean they are righteous actions? The actions that have occurred, does it mean they are wrong?

Who is it that decides if an occurrence is right or wrong? It is the people who are involved in the action or the people outside the action.

What is natural, can the action be stopped from occurring or is it fair to stop the occurrence and resume the same at some other time or some other place?

What is the course of an action, unless is it spent and done?

The night seemed to roll into one big endless night of roaring and merciless pouring matching with the restlessness and the eagerness inside the house.

There was sullenness everywhere and there was pain, pleasure and happiness rolled into one big package and she lay rested and spent in his arms and all the years of separation melted into this one night.

There was no past or future…there was that one moment of bliss and nothing much. There was perfect harmony and life seemed to flow in relentless ebb of emotions and it was considered to be the longest and biggest nights of all the years to come.

She turns over and hugs a pillow and says, “I am dead tired and I don’t know why. At this age, when I am supposed to be counting my days, I am romancing. She giggles and dozes off into a very peaceful sleep, like there is no tomorrow.

He looks at her and is reminded of her act of hugging a pillow and sleeping while she is sleeping, smiles at that action of hers, pulls the rug over her and tugs it at the sides of her and allows her to sleep, as he sits watching her from a chair beside the bed…with the candles burning along with him.

He wakes up with the call of the birds and the morning sounds of life…he had dozed off sitting against in the chair, looking at her.

He looks at her still blissfully sleeping and decides to go the kitchen to make a warm cup of coffee, and pulling the blinds to make the sun rays fall into the house. The sun had started shining in as if the rain from yesterday’s night did not hinder it.

The sun shone between the leaves of the trees and made a heavenly look to the whole garden that was spread across. He started humming a famous song of the 80’s and he used to sing it to her when they were in college. He goes to kitchen pulls out a packet of milk and sets it to boil.

He puts on the player, a small player in the kitchen to listen to his favorite song as he goes about the mundane job of preparing a meal for himself all alone in that house of his.

He is all excited about the night as it had unfolded and the day as it is going to unfold. He was excited at the fact that she is at last with him and it was exciting to have her with him forever, that is what at lease he expects her to do, now.

The thought brings a smile and laughter, he gets the coffee done, and he walks with the tray, laden with cups of freshly brewed coffee, he walks up to her, with the song from the kitchen echoing in the house and in her heart adding a bounce to his walk.

The song, “Kabhie Kabhie Mere Dil Mein….” reverberates through the house with a wonderful memory attached to it.

He walks up to her, places the tray on the table next to the bed and puts a hand to her shoulder and tries to wake her up.

He finds her body extremely chill and dead cold. He wonders what’s wrong and slowly turns her over from the side to face him up right. Her face is pale, her lips turned into a smile and a wonderful face that is quite.

He can’t believe what he saw and what his mind is telling him, he reluctantly puts his hand against her forehead and finds it dead cold.

No, his mind screams…her moves his hand across to the nostrils to find the breath moving in and out, no trace of it, he puts his ear against her heart and finds it not beating, he lifts her and it falls lifeless….!!!

No…No…No…this can’t be true…he is shattered. He kneels down and holds her palm and looks into that face, which does not seem to have been hindered by anything at all. It is so peaceful in the sleep that waking up is impossibility.

He slowly, looks away and wonders what does he do now? He gathers himself and slowly accepting the reality gets on to do what he has to do? He hears a knock at the door and knows who it will be.

He walks to the phone and dials a number…for the second time.

“Hello, Balu here. Who is it?”

“I am not sure if you know me. I am Chris, calling from Kodaikanal.”

“Is she alright? I was worried; she did not return h…o…m…e…!! I hope everything is fine.”

“I guess, we have lost her forever…”

“What??”

A dead silence prevails over and none of them talk, either side of the phone, you can hear a lonely wall clock ticking away to tell man about the future that is nearing and the sounds of the outside world….!

“I will be there in an hour’s time. Please, take care of her.”

He does not know what to do or what to not do. He just sits in the corner of the house; with tears rolling down his cheek uncontrollably…it was a silent whimper.

He heard a knock long back, had completely forgotten about it. He opens the door to find the driver there, he sends him off saying he needs to be back in at his employers house and the madam will return in the latter half of the day. His wait does not seem to end; he is waiting for the owner to reclaim his possession.

“Oh! God, why did I get such a fate?” Thinking and crying had made him vulnerable and tired he dozes off in the sofa waiting for him to arrive.

There is a knock on the door and he gets up to open it to find the owner there, standing tall and bold reclaiming his possession.

They quietly, move into the bedroom…he looks at her and then him.

He walks out and gives them a moment of private.

He gathers her from the neck and shoulders by the right hand and with the left he holds her legs and starts walking down the steps. It is not easy, she has never been so heavy…it is difficult. The uneasiness in the descent, he halts on the way.

He comes forward to help him, but is being ignored. He walks past him and puts her on to the car seat next to him as always, only today she is lifeless.

He walks back to him, puts his hand forward for a shake.

“I am taking my wife with me. She was my life and will always be mine. Goodbye, I hope things will return to normal for us.”

Chris is standing on the porch and the car just leaves the house, in a silence that was heard even after miles down the lane.

The End………..!

Kissing the Death

A re-post of my original post that I posted sometime back on my blog. 🙂 Hope you enjoy this, and find it not too offensive. Consider it my small,  humble and wishful attempt to be back on MoTA. 😉 :p

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Though I’ve seen many dear and near ones pass me by in my life, I’ve never written about death before. For, I never knew what it would feel like – until recently.

I feel lucky to have passed through this experience. Its hard to describe it in the generic context of duality of good or bad, because there is no such thing. It just is.

So, it was my friend’s birthday, and we were hoping to get high. Little did I know what I was going to face then. Though it wasn’t first time, it could have been last time.

I inhaled a few black clouds, enjoying the state of consciousness, puzzled with dizziness. My friend couldn’t take in much, and was constantly telling how badly rolled it was. :p

So I would take in more and more, and explain him how he was doing it wrong.

Then, in an instance, I felt a sudden whip of utter dizziness. Wham! And I said, “I can feel it so strong, why can’t you..” And went in another breathe. Wham!!! I was getting dizzy and high, and I mentioned I can’t take it anymore – I’m as high as heavens.

He gets a call, and goes away for a while.

Wham!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who.. what.. where.. why… how…

I could sense how my senses were loosing their control. Starting with sight. I could see things, but not really make sense with them. Another few seconds, and it started feeling numb first in my brain, then legs, arms, chest, heart and everything else… and I could sense my whole body vibrating from within – feeling like a thunderbolt of millions of watts is passing through me. It was all numb, yet filled with extreme energy. Pure consciousness. Oneness.

I crossed all my fingers of my hands, and folded and pressed my hands, and noticed myself gripping them so hard I could not separate easily. I felt discomfort in my stomach, lungs and heart. I felt my heartbeats dropping down.

I noticed I was loosing it, and I was sure I won’t make it through. With great difficulty, I shouted at my friend to bring me some water.. and I didn’t know why I did this. He was gone for almost a few centuries, which he later told me were only a few minutes. I was sweating bullets. I was not breathing unless I made conscious efforts at doing so. Sitting in the front of the car, I took my shirt off. Still sweating – and probably dehydrating.

I felt these were the last moments. The past memories flew by me. I remembered the ones I love. I uttered their names. I sensed that so many things will go unsaid, undone, untold, unheard, non-existed. A deep sigh, with a glimpse of tears in eyes, with realization that nothing actually matters – its all momentary. And I was one of those fabrics that created the moments that were. I sensed I could either end up in a hospital, in a police station, or in a graveyard. Chances were high that it could be the last one.

I am a non-believer. But then, when it was one of those last moments when death could have kissed me, I surprisingly uttered OM / AUM sound.. loudly… several times. I did it like it was the last but only thing I had to do. It felt like I’m bringing in, calling for, triggering some energies – within and beyond – that will spark it all up again. After all, as I’ve learned it later, sound does not exist. It is just an impression in mind created by the energy waves or oscillations.

So there I was.. waiting for the last sip of water to go in – and may be then bid a farewell to this reality and to possibly enter another..!??!?

But then came my friend, bringing in the water bottle, giving it to me unopened while talking on phone!!!!@!!@@$#@

I tried to tell him to open it for me. But I had little control over my voice, and it went a little too loud. He then recognized the situation was probably already out of control, and turned the call off.

He opened the bottle for me. I drank a few sips. A sudden discomfort inside the body… like it was telling itself there is something wrong. Someone isn’t able to take in a fucking breathe!!!!! I continued drinking, a few more sips, and then suddenly… the stomach responded. :))

“PUKE!!!!! Puke the fuck out of this asshole. Anything that is in his belly. Just puke the fuck out, so that his lungs can get some space to take the fucking breathe in!!!!” – screamed the amazing molecular superstructure of my body to all of its microcosms.

“Okay.. a little more.. PUKE. The roads of this city are already in bad condition, nothing can go worse. PUKE.” the microcosm responded. 😀

I slowly recovered back to my senses. And felt the beauty of life again. Calmness. Wisdom. Oneness.

I sworn to myself to respect this fucking life (which I do anyways, but still, reaffirming 😉 ). I sworn to say what must be said, to do what must be done, to love who must be loved. For, I realized that the only thing that could probably hold you back from the ultimate bliss and freedom is the times when you disobeyed the call of your heart.

Love. Live.

~ Ronak R. / RokZRooM

Abode of Love – Part 3

She gets up from the chair staggering and leaning on to the wall, taking deep breath, looking around, she focuses the number on the invitation. She knows he must be expecting a call from her that is why he has deliberately put the number there. He always does this, before you ask for it he gives it to you…thinking thus, she has a broad smile on her face, which hadn’t been there for long.

Walking up to the antique looking telephone, she trembled as she lifted the receiver to dial the number…!!!

She could not wait till the call got through; she placed the receiver back and walked away from it, with a tear from the corner of her eye.

Her minds asked her several questions, “Why now?”, “Why not then?”, “Is this all a mistake?”, “Am I the intended one for this invitation?” “Is he still the same?” “Is he inviting to his family function?” Should I be going?” “Should I talk?” “Will he ever remember me?”

Like these several questions and their answers went revolving in her head. One minute, she dashed to pick the receiver another minute holding herself.  Nevertheless, she fervently picks up the phone and dials the number…after what seemed an era; she hears the phone ring, in her favorite song – caller tune.

Lost in the song, she reels in her likeness for the song and almost forgets the voice at the other end talking to her.

“…I have been waiting for this call all my life! My Love, How are you?”

“I…I…How did you know, it is me?”

“If I could send you my invitation card to your address, won’t I know your phone number?”

“I….I…am… (sob)” No words could relate to the feeling she went through. Nothing could stop those tears from running down her cheeks…she was so emotional that no one could stop her from what she was doing. She leaned against the wall holding on to the phone and slowly greased down on to the floor against the wall.

Her sobbing turned into a cry that was loud enough to wake the whole vicinity but the screams were only audible to her. She just kept crying till she could hear no sound from the other side, she uncontrollably controlling her tears spoke in to the phone…!

“(Sobbing) Wiping the tears with a single-hand motion, she spoke, ‘How are you? How are things with you?’

“I am good, sweetheart, [Her heart sank, it echoed the same feelings she felt when he used to call her back then…how can he still create the magic, yet again…] as always you are there to take care of me. Why should I worry? Leave about me, tell me about you. I am waiting to hear about you. Meanwhile, you should come to my abode, see it and give me your approving look! Will you, ah?”

Her mind did not read anything after that word…she was stuck there for life. She had missed the word so much. There were so many endearments that could not re-create that just happened.

“Sweetheart, sweetheart….”

“Hmm….”

“For a moment, I thought you disconnected. Stupid, me I am still not able to believe you called me. I knew, you won’t but as usual I left my number in case you wanted to talk to me. [Laugh] So, I guessed it right. You did call me, sweetie! Wow, what a wonderful day it is?!” [Laughter…that is hearty…no stopping]

“No, don’t call me like that…I might right now run into your arms. You might then regret my decision.”

A slight laughter escaped her breath…she used to always do this to him. Stop his laughter by hers. Only her laughter was heard and it was echoing in his ears, heart and the house of his…he was going crazy with her sound again that filled his soul, his life, his everything that he had held on to till this day.

He never knew it would happen and now it was happening…it was his weirdest dream and secretly he worried if that would happen. He was afraid and lost thinking what if it did not happen, what then and whenever he had this thought he blessed himself with the lord’s blessing and said, “It will happen, dude just keep your faith going…!”

It happened and he was right about it all through the 30 odd years he spent lonely looking for that one soul walking up and down the street across her, staying close to her, watching all her growth and wishing her luck in all the endeavors she took, she had not caught notice of him living right across the street.

He was there at all her victories and failures. He was with her in all her stages of womanhood and saw her grow into a nice and mellowed granny…walking down the same streets that her rocked with her beauty, holding the hands of her grandson and granddaughter, a lady of pride.

In his mind, she did not go past the age of young girl in the college, where he first time saw her.  That is how he restrained himself whenever he got angry looking at her from far…it was a tough decision to be right under her nose and not be available to her. He could not talk to her, see her, take her advice, and hear her laugh, smile, look into the eyes that did tell him a lot…nothing he could do.

Just stand there as he no longer existed and remain there.  Many a times, he thought of leaving the place and going away from her sight completely but he could not gather the courage. He was worried if he deviates from the goal, what will happen?

He took everything in the sight as a mark of his stride and kept the ignited mind working towards his goal and did not stop as long as he laid the first stone towards the goal. He worked day and night and whenever he felt lonely and disturbed he always looked at the solid memories he had and kept himself busy looking at the girl of his dreams, flower and ripen through age right in front of him, only not at his home.

She had not deterred from her services of a wife that she became, she had done everything that a wife did, she flowered, she grew fonder, she was a perfect wife, a mother, a daughter to her in-laws, a sister to his relations, and did all the chores that came her way and also became a successful ‘Home Maker and Professional’ at the same time. She balanced her life perfectly. She was always found with a smile on her face and never seemed to have problems with her life.

But he had seen her crying silently against the walls of her house when no one was around, looking at the sky and crying in ecstasy, the cry in the rain, the silent cry while cooking, the unknown cry that he heard and at those times he always had walked up to the gates of her house to console her, give her a shoulder, but could not enter the gates…always walked back with the hatred of a lifetime.

Hating himself for not doing what was required at that time of lifetime and repenting for it every moment. He had the toughest times in his life and now, it all seemed to melt away at the voice returning to him on that phone call he waited for all his life…he had conquered the world and it was nothing compared to the price – he was hearing.

Nothing in the world was worth it – except for the ‘Beauty’ he was talking to now – ‘It was Worth All the Time, Then…Now…and tomorrow!’

Life begins at 60, said some philosopher. It is very true and his had just begun – No looking back…!

Abode of Love – Part 2

Dressed in an orange organdy chudidhar with pastel colored floral designs she was standing at the gates of the college which will be her place for the coming two years. She is lost looking at the place it is new for her and away from home, her thoughts – only friend, she walks into the college with a straight back and undivided attention to the details around the college.

She walks past few people gathered on the sides of the pavement, the corridors of classes, the lunch rooms, the staff rooms, gathering each info of the building.

She comes to a fleet of stairs taking her to the floors above, not knowing whether to climb onto the stairs or just check with people around, she hesitates for a moment and finding the sound of footsteps from above, she holds her breath and stands there.

She does not step on to the stair, she can’t move and give space for the person coming down, the stairs did not have railings, and if she did she would pass through the gap that is there between the stair walls that are not built.

She hazily looks down through it and looks up to see who is the one coming down and how long would that person take and then she catches a glimpse of a brown eyes looking intensely at her from above.

The eyes lock her for a moment and she diverts her attention to the floor below her feet and waits for the person to pass by.

The guy, 5 ft 11 inches tall, walks down taking 2 or 3 steps at a time moving down with an air of exuberance and an smile that does not seem to vanish…quickly hastens and moves down….!

“Hey, there. Are you a newbie into the college?”

Not knowing if it was addressed to her, she just looks up into the same eyes. Hesitantly, she looks around and finds that it was indeed indented to her.

She answers in a loud and clear tone possible, “Yeah, 1st year MBA.”

“Hmm…where are you from?”

“Excuse me, why are you asking me this? What difference it does to you, where I am from?”

“Hello, madam…I am your senior better talk to me properly, otherwise you have problem you understand?”

“No, I don’t.” She walks past him climbing onto the small space on the stair and gets on to comfortable planes. She walks with such an air, that there is nothing but confidence and grace and nothing of arrogance or obeisance.

This is how I met him in college. The arrogance of a senior he carried around, being nosy, looking or trying to catch my attention whenever he wanted, passing by me with a trifling smile, talking aloud to my companion, his mother tongue which did not entice me, his looks telling me – I am watching you, babe!

I was tired of his looks, he appeared wherever I was. Slowly, I lost interest in him untiring looks. I did not notice him; he did not seem to be looking any more.

I was worried, where did he go?

Then I realized, I wanted to see him, his gaze spoke a lot. I looked around, found him and secretively looked at him, whenever he passed by I spoke aloud making an impression, I knew the head would turn and it did, I was in heaven.

Slowly, days rolled and his end at college became evident…he spoke to me now in a more endearing tone, asking me to concentrate on my studies, asking me to plan for the future, asking questions relevant to studies, asking me to keep a tab on things that I could do.

Involved me in some college work, all those meaningless talks, all that could be gathered. Then, one day he called me across to talk.

It happened on the same stairway, now the railing for the stairway was in place and comfortably two people can walk by, on the either side of the stairway.

It the same scene, I am climbing up and he climbing down. I would have almost missed him, if he had not stopped me. As usual lost in thoughts, I was climbing up…he said, “Hello, Madam…What lost in thoughts again?”

“Hmm…nothing like that. Tell me, what’s happening?”

“Coming to collect the examination hall ticket and asking me what is happening?”

“Yeah, it is your last semester exams right, so all prepared?”

“Well, not exactly, yet to start on with the preparations. What about you?”

“I am all set…well, no not actually. I am yet to kick-off. Too much to do, so kind of completely dazed….”

“Between, can you spare some time, I want to talk to you, in private.”

Yeah, she said inside her mind with a know-it-all smile as teasing as possible. But aloud she simply said, “All right, now or later?”

Completely off guarded by her answer, he stumbled a little and said, “I have a small job to attend to now. Will let you know when. It is ok.”

“But who?”

“No worries, it is my word, see you then.”

“Huh?” She could not move further she just stood there looking at him passing by. Can’t he have said when and where?

Hmm…so bad. Why is this happening to me? What does he want to tell me? This thought triggered a smile to her lips and spread across her mind and body. She sprung around with new vigor and went about doing her task.

Smilingly, she went up and collected her hall ticket for her examinations. It brought her back to reality and she got back thinking about it. She got back to her hostel and rested on the bed thinking and gathering the things that she can immediately do before exams and the ways and means to make some studying possible.

She heard her name being echoed in the corridors of the hostel. Strangely, no one calls for at this hour and she looks at the watch it is almost 3 pm in the evening. She got back from the college at about 1 o’clock how did two hours go by?

Surprised, she walks into the corridor and finds a senior of hers yelling her name. She walks up to her and finds that a senior of her is waiting for her and wants to talk to her.

Hazed not knowing who it is now and what the matter is. She walks in to the room of hers and tries to gather the loose strings but no, she can’t.

When did I doze off? Thinking what?

She quickly goes into the loo and gets organized and leaves towards the college. She forgot to ask her senior, where is the person waiting?

She tells herself, it is ok. Anyway, here only nah can find out. She slowly walks across the lane of eucalyptus trees, the pathway winding into t he ground, the muddy road, the wind playing havoc on the sand, and she hears the birds sing.

She looks up from the road; she finds a familiar figure waiting for her. A smile spreads across her lips and then the memory floods back.

She waves to him and walks with a smile that is unstoppable. Moving closer to the target her heart beats faster that she can hear it in her ears. She holds on to her breath and promises to herself not to reveal her nervousness.

She walks closer to the target and exchanges a “Hi”

“What was sleeping? Eh?”

“Yeah, but how did you know?”

“You girls have no other job than sleeping nah.”

“I don’t sleep in the afternoon; if I do I don’t get sleep in the night. So, I don’t. Today is a rare occasion. To say, this you called me now is it?”

“Yeah”

“Oh! Ok…!! I see.” There is a moment of uneasy silence.

“What’s happening with the college magazine? How many articles are you writing?”

“Huh, what? Why should I write?”

“You are the editor, you are supposed to contribute.”

“Hello, not necessary. I just have to edit the articles. By the way, you are leaving the college, why should you be bothered about it.”

“Yeah, why should not I, ya, let’s sit there. It is still my college. I can ask. I am still the president of the committee.”

“Oh! Yeah, sir. Forgot, forgot….”she says teasingly and looks at him.

They walk towards the library building and there is a shade of the gulmohar tree in full bloom.

(…will roll)

A Tryst of Love!

She was restless; she wondered how it could be. A very, very long time now, nobody knew where she was and what she did, she kept herself away not from the fear of being discovered but that’s the way she is.

She is an absolute secret to her friends but a helping shoulder to them, and does anything for them without ever saying what goes through her mind.

Now, it was out of the blue she is being wanted and people of her past are walking into her life and there it is for her to take it or walk away as if nothing had happened.

The voice, the face, the look brought in different emotions in her. She was there for more than a second required and gave her number to catch up, on later.

Usually she does not do that, she keeps things to herself and walks of even if people think she was rude, she was and that’s it. But now, she is looking at her phone often since morning this is the tenth time she looked at it.

When she was serving breakfast to her husband, he was asking for an toast and she served him an omelet, her son was asking for an omelet she was serving him a toast with jam, her mom-in-law asked for idlies, she was serving chutney on empty plates…her daughter was playing with the water jug and getting herself drenched in it, her dad-in-law was on the verandah reading a newspaper asking for a cup of coffee, freshly brewed and she served him cold coffee…she was lost.

Being completely and hopelessly lost, she was looking at the kitchen cabinet reflection trying to come to terms with her late 30’s womanhood with the dark circles, wrinkled face, and the extra fat accumulated due to the chores of the life and the toil of it.

She saw the reflection of a young girl of twenties…who was chirpy and ecstatic to be in college and weaving her dreams of young men in her life who were waiting for a glimpse of her even if they did not want her to be theirs…they just wanted to be known by the beauty.

It was days of greater happiness and carefree that can’t be brought with any amount of price in this world.

Being in college and enjoying the pleasures of a college life is something that everybody relates to in the days of lifeless mundane episodes of their lives. So she was reeling into it without knowing that somebody in the same age was also drooling over the facts of the college life in another part of the city.

He was just not being too able to control his emotion. He has been flying high in the air, his heart beating against the ribs that held it, he was talking to himself, there was a smile stuck to his lips, there was an incandescent feeling to the meeting that he had.

Believing his luck that failed him so many days was something that he was not to come to terms with and wondered how this could possibly be at this juncture of life. He was looking at the watch again and again trying to get him placed to the earth that was reeling away underneath the clouds.

He was above 30,000 kilometers above the sea level flying on an airway that was carrying him closer to his secret dreams of his life that he hasn’t said to anyone except the occasional recitals he did to himself.

He forgot to call his wife and inform her of his departure, his flight delay, his daughter’s call to him was missed, his son who was in the seventh standard had asked for something specific, he brought it and left it in the hotel…he forgot to call his mom, who had specifically instructed to give him a call as soon he sets his foot on to the aircraft.

He forgets about all, he was just thinking of his college, when the first time he saw her, standing in the corridor of the college.

It was a bright sunny morning, she was accompanied with her parents, and she was wearing the two chotis as a school kid, dressed in a white salwar, looking lost in the college corridors and premises.

She was definitely not the best in the crowd but she was for him and he without any console over his feelings was drawn to her like the bee to the nectar. He wanted to talk to her, but avoided her and when she moved away from her parents he went and talked to the parents and her sister. Still he wonders why he did that, without any clue.

This brings a smile to his face even now, like the one that’s stuck to his face. He closes his eyes wishes away the pain that hurt him all these years would vanish in one swipe and give him the same old days of his life that had left him looking and groping in the darkness.

The cooker whistle blew for the fourth time and she did not notice but saw the white light that flashed on her mobile screen and instantly she clutched it to open the ‘1 new message’ sign on it.

She clicked it open with a racing heartbeat and shivering hands, it was from a number, it did not read any name, she has not saved the number yet, she by then recognized the number, the number did not suggest anything at this time…the message was from her service provider…with a sigh too big enough to ignore the sound of the pressure cooker she looked at the pressure cooker overflowing with water and cooked rice around the steamer.

Reluctantly, she puts the phone down and sets on her daily chores. She gets immersed on with the work on her hands. Thank god, it is a holiday for all the members of the family otherwise she must have done a great deal of confusions in the morning adding up to the confusion on her mind.

She remembered her chaos in the morning and beats against her forehand with her palm and wonders why she got so carried away.

It’s been a long time now, she is not the college kid anymore, a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law, a responsible employee in a firm and things have changed for better or worse…whatever said her mind.

For her it was truly and definitely a nice feeling to know someone from your past college life that she had forgotten in the due course of life.

The feeling of being young again hearing to the voice that lingered on from the time it came across the miles and sent sweet memories flood by.

Now, the question was of when and how to get across to the person. When to meet this person and how do we go about doing it, should he be invited with his family or taken to a dinner outside. What to do?

Oh! Been stupid enough not to ask about it…whether he was married, was he single, or was he living alone…what? Could not be, he looked good in his twenties must be nicer and would have aged looking smarter than ever and would have also be happy with a family that supports him in his endeavors.

But, can it also be that he ended up single and more handsome than ever…what if the magic works even now? Have to wait and see…how long it has been?

My son was born within two years of my marriage in 1998, he is now in 8th standard….must be some two or three years before is it when I saw him. It must be 1996 or 1994 that I saw him, in the college, on the day of the Fresher’s Welcome Meet.

He was on the dais sharing it with along other seniors in the college, where ever she went a pair of eyes followed her and it took a long time to find out that the pair of eyes belonged to the same person, she had first noticed on that very day.

Oh! God, those eyes made her wonder, sometimes what is it that makes it to follow her.

What’s in me? Immediately this thought strikes she is looking at her reflection again…!

“Kavi…….can you come here? I am not able to find my dossier that I brought in yesterday from office. I had left in on the corner table when I got in…”

Recollecting her thoughts she follows the sound and utters, “You always seem to keep things and forget it whenever possible…You and your habits, it has been about 14 years now, me tired of doing this for you time and again.”

“What to do darling, whenever I get in to the house after a day’s hard work, look at your lovely face and forget the world and get lost in that big broad brown eyes that swallow up my soul and never bother to return it…” says Karthik with a wink of his right-eye!

She just gives him a simmered smile and sets about looking for the dossier but her mind stuck on the word, “big, brown eyes…”

(….to be continued)

 

Image By: Jeeva Nanthan (An Artist Friend)

Balu’s Dilemma…. !!!(Part-2)

It has been some months now, in this new office of hers and has almost settled down to know people around her and address them by their first-name. She now knows where everyone sits and works from, where things lie in this office of hers, the approach and the city that beautifully spreads across the shores of the Arabian Sea.

Balu and Janavi have the same wavelength and both have similar likes and dislikes and prefer to read the same kind of books. They both have had the same difference of opinion and the same consolations at work. They gel as a team and have been responsible for many out-of-the-box implications and results and have brought in laurels and acclaims for the work and the company they work for. They are regarded as indispensable, of course to the company.

People regard them as two sides of a coin and walk up to them for all their consultations and worries. They have mingled with the people as individuals and still exist as individuals at the end of the day. They have their own lives to mend too and live with and still be happy with it. They aren’t bothered about what people think about them, or what people refer to them. They are unaware of the happenings around and still in the same building with their own like and dislikes and still live in harmony.

Last week, had been a week of havoc and pain for all those in the city and as well in the office for Janavi and Balu. The city had been flooded with water from the lashing rains, day and nights together, clogging the roads, slowing the traffic, delaying the buses, delaying the schedules, erratic supply of electricity, closing down of shops, less options of food available, less day-breaks, less of everything.

Janavi and Balu had also been caught up in this hay ware and had even rifts and arguments upon certain aspects of the work that they had to do. There had been long hours of working, several cups of coffee, missed lunches and slipped deliveries and promises of effective work. Caught in midst of this is what is troubling the mind of Balu, who had written a blog pouring his mind into it. He was unaware and to kill the long drab and tensing work hours, he drifted to do some writing just otherwise to clear his mind. He is of this habit, when in situations of dire tense and heated arguments, he always writes out his mind with beautiful and everlasting dreams to motivate him and bring him back on track.

So, it happened to be one kind of situation now and he wrote out all his mind on to the blog and copied the whole writing on a mail to his best friend to let him also know his mind as he wanted a solution to the mind’s rumblings that has been going on till today, as he met this girl right opposite to his cabin in his office.

He marked it to his friend’s mail id and was waiting for his reply. He knew his friend would respond and also had followed it up with a phone call asking him to do the same. So, waiting for the reply, has been the more tautness time in his life more than the prevailing situations. The better got the situation on his hand that he forgot all about the mail and had engrossed himself in the work at hand, and to god’s grace had finished his work in time.

The office was grateful to all the people who had committed themselves endlessly to the difficulties on hand and gave it a fabulous and sparkling finish. There was a great celebration to follow and people had all enjoyed the fruits of the hardships that they underwent. It was time to meet, and our lady and man even met in the party thrown to the success. They met as every other people, forgetting all their differences and words said, apologized for any accidental behavior and thanked each other for the extended support and parted their ways after an exciting evening.

All’s well and accomplished the return to normalcy. The office is back on its regular routine and Balu is back with his musings. He wonders suddenly why his friend hasn’t replied to his mail. He looks into his sent items folder and finds for his mail against the name of his friend. In vain, he is not able to locate it, and his memory tells him he did send a mail. He sorts them against the date and tries to find his friends mail, but to his astonishment finds a mail to Janavi, on the subject of “To Be or Not To Be”.

He isn’t sure what it is and clicks it to unfold the mail that happened to be or presumed to be sent to his friend. He is unsure, of his act, walks up to the aisle of Janavi’s cabin to talk to her, returns back not having the guts to face her. He isn’t sure if she has read the message, shucks he did not ask for a read receipt. He isn’t sure if he should recall the message, even if he recalls will it delete the message. Has she read the message, she hasn’t discussed with him. Oh! How, stupid I have been and how impulsive?

His intercom rings, “Hi, it’s me Janavi.” “Yeah, Janavi, tell me.”

Janavi: “Wanna, share a cup of coffee with me?”

Balu: “Of course, will join you.”

Janavi: I hope, I did not disturb you. The whole week had been taxing and now I guess we are on our own again.

Balu: Hmm…yes. Running thoughts in the mind, why has she called me here, to say this or is she going to talk about the mail. Oh! God, please save my grace.

Finishing her coffee discussing all the other things that were ahead of them carefully excluding what was on Balu’s mind and adding to the fuel to the already restless mind of his.

Janavi: Shall we leave? and Ah…um…Yes…

Janavi: I liked your writing of yours, it is too good. I did not know that a story teller lies in you. By the way, why did not you mention the name of the girl you had written about? In a way, hiding the name of the girl, you have guarded the girl’s dignity, if someone truly exists like that [wink].

Good, writing. Let me also read some of your previous works. Do share them, catch you later, bye.

She did not listen to the sigh of relief from Balu and the prayers he sent out into the air thanking the God’s in heaven for siding him this time. But, little did Balu know that with this he had kick started the balls of his love-life rolling and in-days to come, he would be in the company of the very ‘LADY’ in the story and his life.

(The End…Oops, Beginning)

Balu’s Dilemma…!

Balu is a bit fidgety about his state now. He wants to recall a message, he sent from his mailbox. He wonders if he recalls will the mail be deleted from his sweet heart’s mailbox or won’t? What is she going to think of it? What if she rackets about the mail to her friends? Shall, I send her a mail asking her to ignore the previous mail and just go ahead and delete it. Oh! God! How stupid, I have been by being impulsively had clicked the send button.

Balu, our hero, is a guy of early-thirties and at the brim of bachelorhood, for time not known or incalculable. He has been so much immersed in his dreams and career that when all his classmates and buddies were enjoying out in the sun, he had been chasing his wild dreams and career. Never had a brush-of-the-hand relationship with any of the women he knew, though the folks he knew almost amount to be a little or nothing at all. During his college days, he had been the knowledgeable person, who everyone could lay hands on for all the missed classes and practicals.
Having said so much about him, now you must have been wondering what a dull and boring life it must have been. But, on the other side, the true self of Balu isn’t known to anyone. He is very normal, has his crushes, has his fantasies, and has his wild-naked dreams and his fanaticism about the latest bomb-shell heroine in the stardom. All these traits are hidden from the people he knows and his closest of buddies, except for one.

This one person also now has stranded him and become engrossed in his daily affairs of life. Now, they hardly meet except for occasional phone calls or lending a shoulder when the other is down pouring his heart out over a mug of beer at nameless dull lit bars of the city.

Days rolled into months and years, but our poor Balu was the same and his aspirations with his job kept him traveling to various places around the world and earn a comfortable and easy life. He too attained the day of his life when he was asked to chose his life-partner or the better half to kill the drabness of the journey called life.

He is in a fix now. This would have been a matter of pride and confidence for any other man in the town, but for our little man, this turned out to be an uphill task, that looked unattainable.

Somehow, he had convinced his mind long before all this that he would marry or have a girl who liked him. The girl, will be of his choice and will be having the same wavelength, respect him, support him, would do things for him, etc, and so on.

But, never did he think at that time that this his so on and on would stand as a block of wall in front of him one day to threaten him.

Our man, does not lose heart, as he is a defendant winner in all terms, is all set to achieve in his recent task too. All is smooth, till the day, Janavi, the girl of dreams arrives into town and to worsen things joins the same office where Balu, the great is the headman.

Now, the complications, it is as obviously seen, it is a case of head over heels of love, blindfolded love though the girl in preposition is strikingly charming and amicable.

She is a smart lady with a right combination of wit and wisdom, complicated with a beauty not skin deep. She is not a subordinate but in par with Balu and they interact with each other most of the time. She is also of the same age and belongs to the clan as Balu with an exception here, she is extremely friendly and has a long list of friends and leads a very active life.

She seems to be enjoying her life and doing all the things that people of her age do. She is sensible though and knows her limitations and expectations. Though clichéd, this is how she is and ‘she is attractive’ is what others say of her or accredit her.

She stays alone and takes pride in being a self-made chic. Living alone has not been her forte but her work demanded her to be in this situation, though she has a big family to support and pet her if need be.

(To be continued…)